Is it a lie because I made it in my head, or does that make it more real?





Its so hard to get rid of being angry

I try to think of the happy .. of us
But all I see are the pictures

The lies

Donít waste breathe
I can learn to accept the truth.
But I cannot live without knowing
Has this all been said and done before?

If that is how it will be tell me, I will live..

But I will never forgive broken promises.
Never forget the lies you tell.

This span of time. Is not so much for you
Not new to devote this time to one person
It is an eternity to me

This thing. This token
Marriage, just a set of words
But to do itÖ to have done it
This supposedly sacred thing
Was once a youthful afternoon for you
A nonsensical church fulled with what could be

I want to cheat you.. to equal you
To make you feel as not special as I make myself feel around you
To have known as many as you. To do my share

This love for you is all I ever want to posess
but jelousy wont let me be selective

Us is all there needs to be
But already there was more before I ever gave you my heart

I gave it to you

Because there are no absolutes here
There is only alone.
And so many questions

But I donít dare ruin our time
I cant stand taking it away
For the bad.. for the past

Papers and pictures and words
The images
Still sit, taking up space in my head
I donít want to see them anymore
Donít want to feel this anymore, at all, ever.

I want it to be new again
I want to spend the day in dreams with you
To spend the night in the city

Need to remember how to forget
To be content
At ease

Trust is lost on me
Canít trust us
Not you, not any of them.

so hard to make this resentment go away
To feel like I am enough.

i feel like you have done all you wanted
While I never will

These things are all just exagerations
Emotions that have no need to live

i stare in the mirror at sad eyes
I feel like nothing without you here
Because I donít know what you are




(C)